Three-way sexual encounter ends badly with baseball bat, arrest

From the Archives:

Here’s more evidence why you should be careful what you ask for–especially if you happen to be seeking an unwanted three-way rompimage-thumb-878697 in the sack–with a friend and your wife!

That is exactly what Robert Briley of Vero Beach, Fla. allegedly wanted. According to an Indian River County Sheriff’s Dept. report, during the early morning hours of Dec. 16, 2012, Briley and a friend, whose name was redacted from the report, allegedly had a discussion about the unnamed man having sexual relations with Briley and his wife. According to the police report, Briley allegedly had been continually attempting to get the friend to join he and his wife in a three-way sexual tryst.

However, on that particular day the friend, who was reportedly “fed up” with Briley’s unwanted sexual advances, finally agreed to sleeping with the suspect’s wife. This is when things went bottoms up. At this point the situation swung completely the wrong way as Briley became angry, presumably at himself for offering up his wife to his buddy for sex. But instead of silently cursing himself for even imagining such a thing, Briley allegedly decided to set the whole sordid matter straight–by grabbing an aluminum bat and allegedly attempting to score a home run with said friend’s head.

At some point police were called to the scene. When the deputy questioned the friend, he informed the officer that after the suspect took two swings at him with his large bat he managed to escape and call for help. When asked why he agreed to sleep with the suspect’s wife, the friend indicated that there were loaded guns in the house along with the baseball bat that, no doubt, by now had the friend limp with fear after almost being struck by it.

The deputy was able to contact Briley’s wife who informed him that the suspect was now fast asleep and that Briley and the friend had been drinking all day. She then told the deputy that the suspect had attempted to get her to engage in various sexual acts with he and the friend. The wife also corroborated the friend’s account of the events that took place after the failed attempt at three-way coitus.

The deputy then aroused the sleeping suspect, who appeared to have no recollection whatsoever of offers of passionate three-way sex and did not acknowledge any type of swinging taking place at all. Briley peacefully surrendered his bat to the officer and was then taken into custody. He was arrested and jailed on charges of aggravated assault.

There is no word on what took place between the friend and Ms. Briley after Briley was taken away for a fun-filled stay in the slammer.